“That’s Not the Haircut I Wanted You to Get.”

I treat myself to a haircut on a rare occasion. It’s not a regular splurge for me—more like a quiet act of reclaiming a little piece of myself. Something about sitting in that chair, hearing the snip of scissors, watching tired ends fall away—it feels symbolic. A fresh start. A reset.

But this time, the comment came before I even had a chance to enjoy it.

“That’s not the haircut I wanted you to get.”

Not what he wanted. Not what he liked. Not what he approved of.

In that moment, my joy shrank. My shoulders tensed. I smiled politely, but inside, I felt like I was shrinking back into a box I didn’t choose for myself.

That comment might seem small to someone else. Just an opinion, right? But when you’ve spent years trying to survive under someone else’s control, even the smallest criticisms carry weight. They’re not just about hair. They’re about autonomy. Identity. Worth.

And here’s what I’ve come to realize: I don’t need permission to show up as myself.
Not for my haircut. Not for my dreams. Not for my healing.

Rebuilding your life after emotional or physical abuse is messy, beautiful, terrifying, and holy work. There will be days when a comment like that still stings. But there will also be days when you look in the mirror, smile at your reflection, and say, “That’s exactly the haircut I wanted.”

And that matters more than anything.

So here’s to the tiny acts of courage—the haircuts, the boundaries, the quiet “no’s,” and the louder “yes, I deserve better.”

We rebuild one choice at a time.

Scripture Reflection:
“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” – Proverbs 31:25 (NIV)

Reflection Question:
What small act of courage can you choose today that reflects the woman God is helping you become?

You’re not alone.
If you are in a relationship where you feel isolated, controlled, or unsafe, please know there is help available. You are worthy of safety, love, and peace.

Need support? Here are some trusted resources:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788
  thehotline.org – 24/7 confidential chat and resources
• DomesticShelters.org – Search for local shelters and services
• Love is Respect (for younger women/teens): loveisrespect.org
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Call or text 988 for 24/7 free and confidential support for mental health, suicidal thoughts, or emotional distress
  988lifeline.org

Take the next right step for your healing, however small it may be. Grace meets you right where you are.

With heart and hope,
Michaela Noelle Grace
Founder of Rebuild Life with Grace
rebuildlifewithgrace.org